Tuesday Night Plans have been made on your behalf. . . DAVID ROBINSON IS PERFORMING TOMORROW NIGHT, TUESDAY JANUARY 14th AT an 8:00 SHOW! He'll be performing at Dorscia - where Luna Park used to be before Moomba was there long enough to change into Dorscia - at 665 N. Robertson Blvd.,West Hollywood, CA,310-652-6364, just south of Santa Monica Blvd. (and the Hamburger Haven) in West Hollywood. The show is TOMORROW NIGHT - Tuesday, January 14th beginning at 8:00PM, but unless you’re walking, you should get there early enough to get a parking spot. You might also want to be there early enough to get one of the cushy bench seats that line the walls of the room. 7:30 should do. What follows would normally be classified as the ramblings of an ignorant, drunken moron, but I swear I wasn’t even drinking when I wrote it. For more on Dorscia, point your browser to http://digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venue.adp?vid=156916 As a final act for his administration, Illinois Governor George Ryan has cleared the roster of Death Row inmates in Illinois prisons – and not in the way W. Bush would have cleared the roster. Ryan, instead, has given clemency to all the Death Row inmates (not counting Suge Knight), leading at least one person (me) to believe that the families of convicted murderers (on average) contain more registered voters than the families of murder victims (who, by definition, would tend to have at least one less family member than before receiving the designation). I don’t think Ryan was planning on running again, so I guess he was just pissed off and lashing out at incoming Governor, Democrat Rod Blagojevich, who. I understand was elected on the basis of how much fun it is to say his name in a mock Jerry Lewis voice. (Bla-GOY’-o-vitch!) Have you ever dropped a quarter into a full trashcan? And even though it’s just 25¢, you have laundry to do so you really need every quarter you can get your hands on? But because you’re short on time, instead of digging in the trashcan, you just dump the whole thing out on the desk and leave the mess for someone else to clean up? Neither have I but it looks like, metaphorically speaking, Governor Ryan is going to get his laundry done. But enough about Illinois politics and their effect on national issues. There is a more important, more pressing issue that should be at the forefront of the mind of every American – Korean nukes? Iraqi weapons of mass destruction? What matter are such trivialities when a fourth rate tennis player with a keen understanding of marketing and the effects of showing lots of flesh is denying that she got a tattoo? Yes, once again, Anna Kournikova is in the news for something besides her lack of tennis skills! Kournikova says the rumors began after a heat patch on her lower back was mistaken for a bandage, explaining "My skirt is a little lower this year which is why you can now see it." In the near future, we expect to hear Kournikova amend that statement to “"My skirt is a little lower this year which is why you can now see what you’re paying for. You’re not a cop, right?" At least I expect to hear that soon because I live really close to the “Divine Brown” area of Sunset. Strangely enough, she will continue to call this line of work “Professional Tennis” justified by her pimp’s . . .um, I mean coach’s continued hints at how to improve her “backhand.” Sure, it’s easy for me to make fun of celebrities and those who claim to be celebs. At least it’s easier as long as I’m on my way up the hill than it will be when I’m kissing everyone’s butts in a feeble attempt to stay on top of the heap. And this is why I ask you to help me to get to the top of the heap by taking eight dollars (and your friends with an appreciation of comedy and access to eight dollars) and bringing ‘em down to Dorscia at 665 N. Robertson Blvd.,West Hollywood, CA,310-652-6364 TOMORROW NIGHT Tuesday, January 14th, 2003 to see David Robinson’s first performance of 2003 beginning at 8:00PM! Though the show officially starts at 8:00PM, I strongly advise that you get to Dorscia NO LATER THAN 7:30PM. Street parking over in that neck of the woods (between Santa Monica and Melrose) is impossible to find and Dorscia’s lot fills up pretty quickly. So make sure you get there early so you can catch the comedy happening in West Hollywood TOMORROW NIGHT Tuesday, January 14th, 2003 at 8:00PM. It's at Dorscia (665 N. Robertson Blvd.,West Hollywood, CA,310-652-6364) which is also where you should be by that time. Vaya con Carne! Your pal David

 

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