The following is a tirade promoting DAVID ROBINSON’S upcoming show NEXT TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th at 8:00PM, at the Friar's Club at 9900 S. Santa Monica Blvd. (that’s the ‘inner’ Santa Monica Blvd. . . ) Deep in the warmed heart-cockles of beautiful Beverly Hills, CA 90212 (310-553-0850). Dress casually nice (collars on them shirts, laddies!) and feel free to take advantage of the ample street parking or feel like a Friar and use the in house Valet parking. http://www.digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venuemap.adp?vid=182219 As we mark the passage of another Martin Luther King Day (A big MLK welcome to the folks in Arizona!), we find the speeches being filed away for another year, the parade routes being swept clean and the Republican party getting back to sweeping everything else under the carpet. Even though Trent Lott got the bum’s rush at the end of 2002, President Bush is trying to bring a bit of the good ol’ South to the Upper Peninsula. The Republicans are saying that if Dr. Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. were alive today, he’d side with them. In principle, their hearts are in the right place, but as usual their brains are nowhere to be found. I mean, I agree that it is unfair to give any ethnic group an advantage in college admissions, but when it’s being done to combat the institutional racism that is widely spread and vastly ignored, it kind of makes sense. Picture, if you will, a long hallway with a door at one end and at the other end you stand aside a man with a gun telling you that he’s going to shoot you, but you get a running start. He won’t start chasing you until you reach the exit door that’s at the end of the 50-yard hallway. You start running and when you reach the door, slightly out of breath, you discover that it’s locked. The bullets start flying and as you lay on the floor oozing life, you hear the man explaining, “Hey, I gave him a running start . . .” Point being that it doesn’t matter how long the hallway is if the door on the other end is locked. We need long hallways AND unlocked doors. Without one, the other doesn’t do anyone much good. And as long as the GOP is running the show, whether or not we have hallways or doors, we all stand a pretty good chance of getting shot. Like the child who was shot at point blank range in a Pomona Burger King this weekend. If you’re anything like me, you’re probably wondering when the insanity will finally end and the shootings will return to the place we expect them to be - our nation’s schools. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t support the senseless killings of children or teachers, but kind of like the lure of alcohol and other illicit drawing points of adulthood from my youth; I think the kids need something to look forward to upon graduation. More importantly, while I stand no chance of going back to high school or junior high, even, there’s pretty good odds that I’ll be frequenting fast food restaurants over the next few years. I mean, someone’s got to hire me eventually, right? While we get even closer to a war with Iraq and there’s talk about reinstating the draft, I’m thinking that it’s time we take our violent criminals, arm them and send them overseas. I mean, these are people that already know their way around the business end of a gun and they’d be providing a much better service to the nation by killing our enemies than they would by watching daytime TV, lifting weights and dropping their soap for a little nookie. Sure at first there might be a few little problems with this, but if we sent a camera crew in with the first group of warrior prisoners (we could call them “Def-Cons”) not only would we be making use of America’s greatest natural resource (maniacal killers) we’d also get one hell of a reality show that would put even Fear Factor to shame. Hey, at least we’ve got the Super Bowl to look forward to. Although it’s been an interesting season, it’s easy to see who’s going to win this one. It’ll be ABC scoring heavily throughout all four quarters of the game. $2 million for 30 seconds of advertising? Yeah, ABC’s the clear winner here. In addition to the commercial revenue they’ll be bringing in, they’re also anticipating the largest audience ever for the first minute of their new late night show hosted by Jimmy Kimmel. Or however long it takes people to find the remote and change the channel. Maybe two minutes. One show that won’t find you frantically searching for the remote is NEXT TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th at 8:00PM, when DAVID ROBINSON will be appearing at the Friar's Club at 9900 S. Santa Monica Blvd. (that’s the ‘inner’ Santa Monica Blvd. . . ) A stone’s throw from Merv Griffin’s beautiful Beverly Hilton in Beverly Hills, CA 90212 (310-553-0850). As it is a private club that’s opening their doors to the mass public, they ask that you dress somewhat nicely. In return they will sell you drinks and give you a nice place to sit. All for the low, low price of $10. http://www.digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venuemap.adp?vid=182219 I know you have many options for your Tuesday night entertainment. That’s why I thank you in advance for choosing David Robinson. And if you act now, you’ll also get this fabulous cheese grater which retails for $14.99! Of course, if you wait until next Tuesday, you get to see the show. Which is much better than a stinkin’ fifteen dollar cheese grater.

 

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