The following is the final e-mail tirade from DAVID ROBINSON promoting his show TOMORROW - TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th at 8:00PM, at the Friar's Club at 9900 S. Santa Monica Blvd. (that’s the ‘inner’ Santa Monica Blvd. . . ) Beverly Hills, CA 90212 - if you liked 90210, this one's two better - (310-553-0850). Dress casually nice (it *is* a private club, after all) and feel free to take advantage of the ample street parking or make like a Friar and use the in house Valet parking. http://www.digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venuemap.adp?vid=182219 Folks - we've reached the end of an era. Like the last stapled issue of Playboy, the last Grateful Dead bootleg with Pig Pen on harp, or David Caruso's final episode of NYPD Blue, it is time for a change. The difference is, this one actually matters. After today, you'll receive a simple e-mail informing you of the time and date of my next show with instructions on where you can find the current tirade. No scavenger hunt, wild goose chase or interactive mystery - the tirades will be appearing on your computer at www.standupfalldown.com! While you count the hours between now and 8:00PM tomorrow, maybe you can alleviate some of the stress by visiting www.standupfalldown.com and checking out what's there. There's music, pictures and words. Lots and lots of words. Past tirades are archived there and more will be listed as time goes on. If there's something you'd like to see on the site, let me know! That being said, let's take it to the bridge! With the State of the Union scheduled so close to the Superbowl, am I the only one who thought U.S. forces would launch a war in Iraq scheduled to coincide with the halftime show? I mean it might have mattered if the second half of the game (before the very end) was more exciting, but in retrospect the timing would have been perfect. Then, on Tuesday evening, the President could have started the State of the Union address apologizing for his timing, but explaining it away by saying, "Hey, I'm the President. And as Harry Truman said, 'The Bucs stop here.'" Sure, this would never happen, but imagine for a moment that the President actually had a "strategery" for the impending war in Iraq . . .Imagine for a moment that the President had a mastery of the English language that would enable him to deliver a joke like that. And imagine for just one moment more that George W. Bush doesn't think Harry Truman is that little English wizard boy who goes to school at Hogwarts. Ok, even my imagination doesn't stretch that far but hey, it's a nice thought. But is a war in Iraq inevitable? Well, that depends on how much lower President Bush's approval rating sinks. To a lesser degree, it might also be heavily influenced by how CNN, MSNBC and Fox News Channel do in the February Sweeps. I probably wasn't the only one to be a bit surprised a couple weeks back when I heard on the news that UN Weapons Inspectors in Iraq weren't actually looking for weapons - they were looking for signs of compliance. I'm thinking the UN Compliance Inspectors were pretty cheesed off about missing out on a job that so obviously should have been theirs. But when they found chemical warheads in Iraq, all of the sudden they were looking for weapons again. Now, Hans Blix has come around to our way of thinkin' and released a report saying that Iraq has failed to meet U.N. demands for disarmament of weapons of mass destruction. Reading between the lines, this indicates that Bush agreed to give the UN inspectors enough time to get out of Iraq before our soldiers move in. Or maybe the UN is realizing that without the strong blocking defense of the World Trade Center's towers, their building is now that much more vulnerable to attack. But Iraq won't attack the UN. Sure, the UN is the governing body that sent inspectors to Iraq. Yes, the UN will suggest (and possibly enforce) sanctions on Iraq. But does this matter to the Iraqi government? Of course not! They're pissed off at America and no matter who is actually messing with Iraq they believe America is to blame. Irrational. Ignorant. Flat out stupid. If the UN is to blame, why are they acting out against America? I don't know - maybe for the same reason we're going to attack Iraq in retaliation for Osama Bin Ladin's attack on the World Trade Center? All in all, doesn't it make you nostalgic for the days when the stock market was up and the President was getting hummers in the Oval Office? I mean, say what you will about Bill Clinton but when he was trying to screw the country, he was doing it the old fashioned way: one woman at a time. And tomorrow night at the Friars’ Club, it’ll be one comic at a time and one of those comics will be me, David Robinson. And that’s why I highly recommend that you’re also at the Friars’ Club TOMORROW - TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th by 8:00PM, at 9900 S. Santa Monica Blvd. (that’s the ‘inner’ Santa Monica Blvd. . .) Beverly Hills, CA 90212 (310-553-0850). Dress casually nice (Jeans, ok. Shorts . . . not so much.) And feel free to take advantage of the ample street parking or make like a Friar and use the in house Valet parking. But no matter where you park, park early because seating at the Friars’ Club is on a first come, first serve basis. And while some tables are definitely better than others, any table is better than no table. As long as it’s at the Friars’ Club at 9900 S. Santa Monica Blvd TOMORROW - TUESDAY, JANUARY 28th at 8:00PM. I thank you for your patience and look forward to seeing you tomorrow night. I will miss the e-mail tirades, but I’m looking forward to the many web-based tirades that the future holds. Until tomorrow. . . Vaya con Carne – Yer pal David

 

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