Aah, such troubled times we live in. That’s why it was so nice to take a few hours watching the Oscars last weekend – especially the moments of disgust on Peter Jennings’ face when he had to say, “And now back to the Academy Awards.” No mental deficients or physically disabled folks were featured in any films this year (not counting Ben Affleck), so token Holocaust movie “The Pianist” snuck up on Chicago and grabbed a few awards. After winning the Oscar for Best Director for “The Pianist,” Roman Polanski said he was “deeply touched.” Which reminded him of exactly why he wasn’t allowed to come back to America to get his trophy. But after the frivolity of the Oscars, the nation’s attention turned back to our favorite spectator sport – war. Yep, we got a big plateful of reality shoved in our faces last weekend. Tortured POWs, soldiers who look like they were executed, bad things all, and we were reminded that it ain’t just the red-shirted ensigns that get killed in battle. This is war, kids. It’s not going to be pleasant. An unrelated casualty this week – Connie Chung’s CNN show. As a tearful nation wonders what will become of Connie, I assure you she’ll be fine. Yeah, at some point she may be reduced to blowing Maury Povich to cover the rent, but I’m sure it won’t be the first time THAT’s happened. On the other hand, the war has been pretty good to Peter Arnett. You may not remember, but Arnett left CNN a few years back over a documentary he narrated that claimed the U.S. Government used nerve gas against American defectors in the Vietnam War. Arnett, in Iraq working for the National Geographic channel, has become NBC’s go to guy in Baghdad. They’ve done for Arnett what they did for Marv Albert a couple years ago when they re-hired him to call basketball games after his indiscretions virtually destroyed his career. And didn’t O.J. Simpson used to work for NBC Sports? Hmm. I’m thinkin’ Fall 2007 NBC just might have a Sunday hunting and fishing show hosted by O.J. and Robert Blake. Or maybe a wacky family sitcom starring Winona Ryder and Paul Rubens as a married couple who used to front an internationally known punk band (ala Kim and Thurston of Sonic Youth, Jack and Meg of the White Stripes, Ira and Georgia from Yo La Tengo – you get the idea and I’ve proven my street cred and/or my research skills) but are now trying to slip into a buttoned down suburban life. Corey Feldman and Corey Haim play the gay couple next door (Note to Producers: If either Corey is unavailable, try Corey Hart. [If not for the role, maybe he’d do a theme song?] If that fails, see what Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis are up to. In addition to the characters being gay, think about how many “very special” episodes we could mine from those two!) And sadly, the Rolling Stones had to cancel their concerts scheduled for Hong Kong because of the bizarre outbreak of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome. I’m not saying Kim Jong Il has biological weapons, but I think this all could have been avoided if the Stones had booked a couple shows in North Korea. I won’t be playing Hong Kong or North Korea either, but NEXT WEDNESDAY, APRIL 2nd, I’ll be performing at F2 which is the upstairs showroom bar at Giancarlo. . . or Farfalla. I’m really not sure what they’re calling it these days, but it’s right next door to the Acme Comedy Theater at 143 N. La Brea Ave. Los Angeles, CA 90036 (323) 938-2504 (Between Beverly and First) The show starts at 8:00PM. Street parking available for free or valet in the lot just south of Farfalla/Giancarlo for a nominal fee. It’s only $5 and they’ve got great food and a full bar. Get there early, get your drink on and enjoy a few hours away from the war. See you next Wednesday! Vaya con Carne, Your pal David

 

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