By now you’ve probably seen the pictures coming out of Baghdad's Abu Ghraib prison, and from what I hear we have yet to see the worst. But before we continue to blast the Bush Administration for another misstep in the quagmire that is the “War on Terror,” I would like to applaud our appointed President. You may remember, upon the “liberation” of Iraq and the capture of Saddam Hussein, Bush said that we had gotten “rid of the rape rooms and torture chambers in Iraq.” Well, it turns out the administration that blew through an unprecedented budget surplus like a chubby intern with a penchant for cigars is not the bunch of wasteful bureaucrats we thought they were. Rather than being eliminated, downsized or outsourced, the rape rooms and torture chambers have been recycled and re-purposed for the good of our nation. And I thought the oil would have been first. But enough about politics and the war, let’s talk about what’s really important – celebrity gossip! The 2003-4 television season is wrapping up, and after ten years, the hit sitcom “Friends” has called it quits. Many Americans are completely distressed over the end of the show, and they’re also getting a glimpse of what Michael Jackson must be feeling as he prepares to say goodbye to all of his ten-year-old friends. Jackson made headlines recently when he replaced his attorneys Mark Geragos and Benjamin Branfman with former Robert Blake lawyer Thomas Mesereau Jr. Apparently, Branfman and Geragos refused to drink the Jesus Juice. And just last week, investigators seized a pair of Jackson’s soiled underwear and notes about the children he referred to as “rubbers” from a collector in New Jersey. According to the Jackson family, these items were part of a collection that was to be used to decorate a string of Jackson family themed restaurants. No wonder the restaurants never got off the ground – did they really think people would ask to sit at the table with a good view of the soiled underwear? Is the world really ready for the Michael Jackson “Hard Sock Café?” It’s enough to make you want to get away from it all and sit in a cold dark room. As luck would have it, there are plenty of these rooms all around the country – many of which are also serving popcorn and showing movies. And you may find yourself in one of these rooms watching the Sundance hit “Supersize Me,” in which director Morgan Spurlock documents a month in which he ate exclusively at McDonald’s every single day, three meals a day. By the end of the month, Spurlock’s body was shutting down and he had gained 25 pounds. But don’t worry, Spurlock was able to lose the weight in 14 months by walking everywhere and eating nothing but Subway. And whether or not you’re watching your weight, you can enjoy a fantastic meal while you’re enjoying the comedy on Monday, May 17th when Dr. David Robinson appears at the M Bar (1253 N. Vine, Los Angeles, CA 90038 - in the strip mall at the corner of Fountain and Vine 323-856-0036) in “The M Spot Comedy Show”! The show begins at 8:30PM and it’ll only cost you $5.00! Call ahead and reserve a table for yourself and plenty of your friends to enjoy dinner with the show, or just show up for comedy and tasty libations – they’ll still give you a table. See you Monday! Vaya con Carne – Your pal David

 

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