Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for Yee. That’d be Capt. James “Yousef” Yee, the Muslim U.S. Army chaplain at the Guantanamo Bay military prison facility who was caught recently with sensitive documents pertaining to Guantanamo Bay security and personnel. And let’s keep that bell ringing for Army translator Ahmad Al-Halabi and civilian translator Ahmed Fathy Mehalba who were also charged with spying for the enemy after stints at Guantanamo. I’m starting to think it’s easier to get a job guarding suspected terrorists at Guantanamo than it is to get a gig making chai lattes at Starbucks. You’re probably starting to think I just like saying the word “Guantanamo.” But before we get upset about the lack of a screening process for sensitive government jobs, remember that our appointed President is just retarded enough to be executed in his home state and our Attorney General was appointed after losing an election to a dead guy. And speaking of the Attorney General, am I the only one who’s noticed a frightening similarity between John Ashcroft and the Cigarette Smoking Man from “X-Files”? Of course, that’s not the only reason to cast doubt on the Justice Department investigation to find out if someone at the White House leaked the identity of CIA operative Valerie Plame whose husband challenged President Bush’s allegations about Iraqi WMD programs, but who says that national security should get in the way of partisan politics? Trust no one, indeed. And in the absence of trust, we must have faith. With that in mind, the government decided last week to begin funding so-called “faith based initiatives.” Y’know, religious organizations that claim to be working for the betterment of society . . . like Al-Qaida. Meanwhile, the findings of two studies were released last week showing large quantities of flame retardant chemicals in the breast milk of American women. While this may be cause for concern among most people, I’m just happy to see the government and the EPA doing their part to put an end to the most dangerous fad to hit America in years; lighting baby farts. Before I come off as seeming like I’m totally anti-government, I do want to give props to Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich who is looking into a plan to save the state millions of dollars every year by allowing state health plans to purchase prescription drugs from Canada. I would like to applaud Blagojevich’s efforts, but they could save even more money by using a popular Southern California health plan that allows you to buy prescription drugs in Mexico without the added expense of actually seeing a doctor first. Finally, German Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger said this week that Pope John Paul is “in a bad way,” leading followers to believe that the aged pontiff is either in poor health or he’s been watching the PBS mini-series “The Blues.” And if you’re “in a bad way,” may I suggest you get yourself fixed up right THIS FRIDAY, OCTOBER 3rd at 9PM, when Dr. David Robinson will be performing at Masquer's Cabaret - conveniently located at 8334 W 3rd St. - just three blocks east of La Cienega! Brilliant topical comedy and a live performance of a song from my upcoming CD release, “Sorry Isn’t Good Enough,” soon to be available through this website! So gather the troops and come on down to Masquer’s Cabaret THIS FRIDAY NIGHT, OCTOBER 3RD for Masquer’s Comedy Night featuring Dr. David Robinson! Kick your weekend off in style with comedy and booze – just like John Paul does (allegedly). See you Friday! Vaya con Carne – Your pal David

 

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