It’s much too early in the new TV season to begin bracing ourselves for “Very Special Episodes,” which is why I think it’ll be safe to either set the VCR or just miss the episodes that air on the night of Thursday, October 17th, because rather than catching up with the docs at County General, the freaks of “Push, Nevada,” or even the geeks of “CSI” you can instead catch the comedy of David Robinson live at Zanies (1548 N. Wells, Chicago, IL 60610 312-337-4027) just south of North Avenue – a restraining order’s distance away from Second City! (Don’t ask . . .)

True, we haven’t yet seen the “Very Special Episodes” for the new shows, but I think we can expect some of the finest examples of television writing as well as some curious crossovers. For instance, during November sweeps, we’ll be privy to a Very Special “Hack” on CBS (You’ve got to admire a show that’s named after their writing staff) in which David Morse’s disgraced, retired cop/taxi driver picks up a rehabilitated/resurrected Travis Bickle, now known as Trudy and living the life of her dreams courtesy of Zoloft and a very clever plastic surgeon from Beverly Hills. We’ll learn that it’s not what’s between a person’s legs that counts, but how much they have in their wallets at the time. We’ll cry at the touching moment Trudy gives the “Hack” a Thomas Guide and he breaks down into tears because he . . . can’t . . . read . . . maps! Our jaws will drop at the NYPD Blue/Family Affair crossover when Sipowicz reveals Mr. French’s dastardly secret and Mrs. Beasley is picked up on a soliciting charge. Very Special Guest Charlotte Rae co-stars as Edna Garrett, who is busted while running an in-call “domestic servant” service with her former employee Philip Drummond (portrayed by Bonar Bain – twin brother of the original Mr. Drummond, Conrad Bain, who would have been a Very Special Guest had he not pawned his goofy twin brother off on us. Geez, where’s Clint Howard when you need him? Don Swayze, anyone?) And you’ll be putting the kids to bed early when the “Baywatch-iest” event of the season airs as Pamela Anderson and David Hasselhoff co-host the emotional reunion/variety show “We’re HUGE In Germany!: A Very Baywatch Reunion.” Participation of other former cast members of Baywatch will be determined by the availability of their P.R. people and/or parole officers. I’m also looking forward to Dr. Phil’s November sweeps stunt when he spends his entire week interviewing/analyzing Doug Brown – a man who was introduced to the world when he was busted on “Cops,” tried on “Texas Justice,” appealed his case before “Judge Joe Brown,” before appealing up to the court of “Judge Judy” and ultimately will present his case before the Honorable Judge Marilyn Milian in our forum . . . “The People’s Court.” With quality programming like this, why the hell would you need cable?!?!?

While I won’t be the only comedian performing that evening, I will be doing about 10 minutes including a performance of the newest song in the David Robinson catalog, “Red Headed Hooker.” If there’s a better reason to drop $16 and pick up two drinks, I don’t know what it is. If you have any ideas, feel free to let me know! As a matter of fact, you can tell me when you see me at 8:30 on Thursday October 17th at Zanies – located at 1548 N. Wells, Chicago, IL 60610! Just a few blocks from scenic Lake Michigan and an elephant’s whiff away from the Lincoln Park Zoo! It’s highly recommended that you call to make a reservation, and you can do that by dialing 312-337-4027! How much simpler could it be?!?

For more information on the venue, point your web browsers to:
http://home.digitalcity.com/chicago/bars/venue.adp?vid=104191

Please feel free to bring your friends, or people (over 21 years of age, please) that you’d really like to impress. Better yet, forward this e-mail to them! Matter of fact, if you're speaking with someone else who knows me, this will also provide a great conversation opener. As you see another friend/acquaintance of mine approaching you, you can ask, "Hey! Did you get the e-mail about David performing at Zanies?" And they'll say "No! I guess he hates me now!" Please assure them that I don't hate them -it's just that when I left Playboy, their e-mail didn't make it into my Palm. But they can write to me at this address and I'll make sure they're added to my list! Then again, they might also say, "Yes! I got that e-mail! And I've already made my reservation! How 'bout you?!?" And you'll feel all embarrassed because you haven't made your reservation yet. And are you going to let a punk like that embarrass you in front of your boys? I didn't think so! You tell them that you're just on your way to Zanies to make your reservation. And then, just to prove it to them, go to Zanies and make a reservation for a party of five (5) people! Then find four other people who enjoy comedy and bring them to Zanies. That'll show 'em! Either way, it's a win-win.

In summary, between 7:30 (doors open) and 8:15PM (by which time you should already be seated) on Thursday, October 17th you should be at Zanies 1548 N. Wells, Chicago, IL 60610 with at least $30 in your pocket to cover your ticket, drinks and tips for the bar staff.
See you there!

If you feel you are receiving this message in error, bring $16 and enough to cover two drinks to Zanies at 1548 N. Wells, Chicago, IL 60610. After my performance, you can humbly approach me inside the club and ask me to take you off this list. If you’re nice, I just might do it too.

 

Click here to return to the archives listing