As we look to the week ahead and mark our calendars for THIS THURSDAY NIGHT at 8:00PM when DAVID ROBINSON performs at SUR – formerly known as Toto’s, but still located at 15627 Ventura in Encino, just west of the 405 (http://home.digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venuemap.adp?vid=34471) - we also look to the week that just passed and the tumultuous political events that transpired. In an election that could be fairly called “What the hell just happened?!?!” by either party, depending on your inflection, or “Huh?” by the apathetic of the nation, We saw the Republicans forget that they used the “airplane trick” in Missouri a couple years back, while they still managed to defeat the Democrats in many important races on their strong, “OH NO YOU DI’INT, IRAQ!” platform. Meanwhile, Osama Bin Laden (remember him?) is probably maxin’ and relaxin’ in a posh cave near the Pakistani border issuing fatwahs between games of Grand Theft Auto – Vice City on the Playstation 2. From this, we can deduct that while President George W. Bush no longer uses cocaine or marijuana, he’s still an expert at working with smoke and mirrors. In California, Proposition 49 passed, creating after-school programs to help keep kids off the troubled streets. Because of the clever advertising campaign, many Californians voted “YES” on Prop. 49, thinking that passage of 49 would make it mandatory for Arnold Schwarzeneggar to learn how to speak English fluently with an American accent before he run for public office. As it stands, in 2006 we may find ourselves voting against the man who may one day be the “GAH-VA-GNAW of KALEE-FAWN-YAH.” Remember, we’re talking about descendents of the folks who did the same favor for Ronald Reagan. . . only Reagan used to speak normally, but now sounds like Schwarzeneggar. . . unless I’m thinking of Kirk Douglas. . . or was that Lou Ferrigno? California Democrat Gray Davis was reelected as Governor, meaning that Bill Simon will have to continue screwing the citizens of our state through private industry instead of public office. As for Davis, we can probably look forward to a “Fugitive” like chase in which he spends his next term chasing down those damn corporate criminals that caused the energy crisis two years ago. In Nevada a bill that would legalize casual consumption of marijuana was struck down by voters who believe that gambling and prostitution currently emphasize family values in a way that devil-weed Mary Jane never could. Perhaps our children or grandchildren will live to see a day when Las Vegas hookers are asked merely to make out while listening to Radiohead albums and blackjack dealers are constantly asked, “Dude, what are my cards supposed to add up to?” At least we can find comfort in the fact that the D.C. Snipers (a much snazzier name than the Washington Wizards, but hey, I’m twisted like that) are locked behind bars, leaving R&B Star Bobby Brown alone in efforts to terrorize the south-east. It is time that we as Americans come together and celebrate the freedom to treat our entire nation like the “Real World” apartment, recognizing our great homeland as a giant Skinner Box in which we create reward/punishment systems based on the American’s Credo which asks, “I wonder how fu<ked up it would be if we just . . . ?“ But where do we come together? And when? Well, How about THIS THURSDAY NIGHT, NOVEMBER 14TH for the 8:00PM comedy show featuring DAVID ROBINSON at SUR - 15627 Ventura in Encino, just west of the 405 (http://home.digitalcity.com/losangeles/bars/venuemap.adp?vid=34471). It’ll only cost you THE LOW, LOW PRICE OF $5 to get in and if you show up by 7:30 you can also take part in the special prices on beer and pizza while guaranteeing a good seat for you and whomever you choose to bring and/or forward this e-mail to. When you get there, you’ll be asked who you’re there to see. Proudly tell them you’re there to see me, DAVID ROBINSON, take a seat and start drinking. Really, as Mary Poppins implied, “A good healthy buzz will help the comedy go down in a most delightful way.” Forward this to anyone you know who appreciates the funny and tell them to do the same. If you tell two friends and they tell two friends (and so on, and so on) we may all be using the same shampoo by the end of the week.

 

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