These days it seems as if weirdness is all around us, and those who find themselves ill prepared to deal with the circumstances interpret every occurrence as a portent for the spiraling destruction of civilization as we know it. The California wildfires, the freak storm that dumped two feet of hail on Watts, the election of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger . . . scary stuff. Why, even the laws of space and time are coming into question with the recent revelation that you don’t even have to leave Los Angeles to enter the Paris Hilton.

Rupert Murdoch and the folks at Fox, however must be very pleased at the free promotion that the Paris Hilton sex tape is providing for Hilton’s upcoming show “The Simple Life.” Like most of the folks that have seen the tape, I wasn’t too impressed. I mean it was shot in night vision, so it sorta looks like the video of American bombs falling on Iraq, except with better tits. And I’m not exactly sure who this Rick Solomon fellow is, but judging by the sex tape I think he’s the guy who played Gollum in “The Two Towers.” Not too impressive.
Of course, that was before I watched it with the director and cast commentary.

Meanwhile in Massachusetts, homosexuals will now have the right to be as miserable as the rest of us with the state supreme court giving the thumbs-up to gay marriage. Now if they can just keep the priests from putting their thumbs up the altar boys . . .

Speaking of folks who have been accused of “kneeling at the altar,” in an effort to “butch-up” the future King of England’s appearance, the Monarchy was able to get a little Bush in the palace last week. Of course, the Appointed President doesn’t really do anything to make “Queen for a Day” Prince Charles look more macho, but looking at W., the Royals have to admit that considering the inbreeding, they’ve done alright in comparison. The biggest problem with the alleged incident at Buckingham Palace, that if true would qualify Prince Charles as a royal pain in the ass, is that as the future King, Charles stands to become the official leader of the Anglican Church. And the Anglicans would rather not have their leader mistaken for a common Catholic priest.

Speaking of royalty and their “touchy subjects,” self-proclaimed King of Pop, Michael Jackson was arrested this week on charges of child molestation.
While many newscasters did a great job of saying “Michael Jackson” and “criminal probe” in the same sentence without cracking a smile; we can expect to see headlines featuring puns based on Jacko’s album titles saying that Michael is “Bad,” he’s “Off The Wall,” or even that he’s “Dangerous.” Of course these are just clever, roundabout ways of saying he’s been “Fucking Children.”

And Michael Jackson pedophile jokes aren’t the only thing making a comeback this fall – Rush Limbaugh is back from rehab where he apparently gained some insight into why people listen to his show. As he said in his first week back on air, “It’s amazing. When you know something that no one else knows, and you listen to the people who don’t know anything write and talk about it, it is hilarious. It is absolutely hilarious to read and listen to people who don’t have the slightest idea what they’re talking about act expert and all opinionated about it ... what you know, what you think you know, you don’t know.” True, he was commenting on the press coverage generated by his detox experience in Arizona, but it sure explains why I tune into his show every once in a while.

And for those of you who like to support live comedy every once in a while, if you’re in L.A. for Thanksgiving weekend, why not celebrate the gluttony of the season by treating yourself to a night of comedy at El Dorado -11777 San Vicente Blvd. Los Angeles, CA 90049 310-207-0150 this Friday, November 28th when Dr. David Robinson will perform as part of the Rebels of Comedy show! Loads of fun for you and all your friends with cheap comedy, cheaper drinks and some of the Mexican food in Brentwood!

No matter where you find yourself this Thanksgiving, I hope yours is happy and healthy. Well, at least happy. Now pass the gravy.

See you on Friday!

Vaya con Carne –

Your pal David