You don’t have to beg and plead for my comedy. . . . . .But I'll beg 'cause you mean that much to me. . . [Because so many of us are extremely busy due to the Holiday season, I’ll offer you the opportunity to skip the humorous diatribe below and get to the point, which would be to make sure you make your reservation to see David Robinson LIVE at the Improv (8162 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 323-651-2583) for this Wednesday’s 8:00PM “Rebels of Comedy” showcase. Please, please, PLEASE come to this show! And whether or not you can make it, please pass this e-mail on to anyone who enjoys good comedy - especially if they're high powered individuals in the Hollywood system who like to give comedians high paying jobs in the entertainment industry. Really.] In this Holiday season leading up to the New Year, many of us take the time to count our blessings and thank the forces that govern the Universe for another year of benevolence. Right now, for instance, many Americans are thankful that they’re not Senate Majority Leader, Trent Lott. At this point, Lott is probably wondering why he ever decided to speak at the 100th birthday celebration for Senator Strom Thurmond. Hindsight being 20/20, Lott probably could have skipped the party and still easily convinced Thurmond that he was there. Though many beltway insiders are courting the black vote by condemning Lott and his remarks, prominent African American politico Rep. J.C. Watts, (R) OK, says he respects Lott and feels that Lott has always returned that respect . . . well, at least since Lott stopped leaving his boots outside Watts’ office each night to be shined before sunrise. One thing about Thurmond’s birthday party that still puzzles the masses is why they hired that crappy Marilyn Monroe imitator to sing “Happy Birthday” to the aged Senator when Anna Nicole Smith would have done him . . . er, done it, rather, for five bucks and a bottle of Ol’ Granddad. Either that or she just would have done ol’ granddad for a five-dollar bottle of anything . . . I wasn’t really listening. On that note, I watched the Anna Nicole Smith Christmas Special on the E! network last week. If you missed it, just picture the dinner scene from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” with better food and less class. I must say, however, that I do think it’s awfully kind of the E! network to do all they’re doing to help the retarded. I apologize for that last comment – it was rude, careless and insensitive . . . to the retarded. Hey, four more apologies and I’ll almost be caught up to Trent Lott! Of course, the one who should be the Sammy Sosa to Trent Lott’s Mark Maguire in this season’s apology race is Cardinal Bernard Law, the former Archbishop of the Boston Diocese. Law, however, doesn’t need to worry about his future as the Witness Relocation Program has already offered him a position based on his experience of shuffling criminals around and sweeping things under the rug. Since Law tendered his resignation, the Vatican has come out denouncing priestly pedophilia as “abominable,” which some critics believe is too close to the term used by priests, “adickinakid.” In a related story, former 90210 star Jason Priestly released a statement denying any involvement with priestly pedophilia, saying that Priestly NASCAR wrecks are more his thing. But enough about the Mea Culprits of the past few months. In order to keep from having to issue your own apology, make sure you’re at the Improv (8162 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 323-651-2583) this Wednesday to see David Robinson at the 8:00PM “Rebels of Comedy” showcase. This will be David’s debut appearance at L.A.’s premiere comedy club, gracing the stage that’s launched a thousand stars. For the low, low price of $12, in years to come you’ll be able to say that you were present for this potentially historical moment in the world of comedy. Because this is such an important show for me, I ask that you PLEASE come to this show and bring as many fans of the funny as you can gather. Because the “Rebels of Comedy” showcases have been selling out, it’s best if you call the Improv (8162 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 323-651-2583) to make your reservations for this Wednesday’s 8:00PM “Rebels of Comedy” showcase. And now, for those of you who were wise enough to read through the preceding rant, a bonus joke! A biker gang pulls up to a Hooters, goes inside, sits down and orders food and drink. Ten minutes later, the waitress arrives at the table with three pitchers of beer, six mugs and a tiny bell. After putting the beer on the table, the waitress rings the bell and a plate of Hooters’ specialty dish appears in front of one biker. She rings the bell five more times and five more plates appear in front of each of the bikers. As the waitress was returning to the kitchen, a new employee runs up to her with a look of surprise on her face asking the waitress how she did that. The waitress smiled at her saying, “Didn’t you know, every time a bell rings, an Angel gets his wings!” See you Wednesday at the Improv (8162 Melrose Ave. Los Angeles, CA 323-651-2583)! Happy Holidays! Vaya con Carne – Your pal David

 

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