people call you “Doctor.” You’re not a real doctor,
Yes, I am. I’m also an ordained minister and Universal Rabbi. I was ordained on Memorial Day in 1996 and then in 1999 I obtained an honorary Doctorate of Divinity and the title of Universal Rabbi. To date I’ve performed two weddings and am happy to say that both couples are still happily (and legally) married. Though I’m not a medical doctor, I can be persuaded to perform.
So, comedy, huh? What else do you do?
Ooh, two-part question . . . Yeah, comedy. I tend to write about pop-culture and political issues, with some material that deals with common topics like relationships and work – but coming at the topics from an angle that’s all my own. Some of my stuff is slightly absurd, and all of it is very entertaining. Aside from performing comedy, I also write and perform comedic songs. In the next year I’ll be releasing a CD of proven and potential crowd pleasers like the Schoolhouse Rock influenced “(Passing) Three States of Matter,” the Nikos Kazantzakis-esque “Jesus Is My Realtor,” and the holiday ballad for bi-religious families “Do Jews Believe in Mistletoe” and more!
In the past, I’ve also fed my craving for attention by working in radio – on air as well as in the production booth – and doing voice work for radio ads, many of which were also written by me.
I write film and record reviews on a freelance basis as well as just about anything else people are willing to pay me to write. (Ask me about my sitcom!)
What does "Vaya con Carne" mean?
Well, it started as a bad joke - a mix of the popular Spanish salutation "Vaya con Dios" (go with god) and the popular Mexican dish "Chili con Carne" (chili with meat). While the concept of Chili con Dios offered a spicy, warming alternative to bland communion wafers, the concept of "Vaya con Carne" offerred more possibilities. While it literally means "Go with Meat," I interpret it to mean, "Go with the Flesh" or "Go Naked" which, while entertaining if literally taken, is meant to be interpreted as "go without pretense," or as the kids say, "Don't be frontin'."
If you're so smart, why ain't you rich?
As H.L. Mencken once said, "No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public." Judging by my finances, I've been giving the American public at large much more credit than they deserve. You on the other hand, Mr. or Ms. Smartypants, you are currently visiting standupfalldown.com. There's still hope for you, and if we extrapolate - hope for America as well. In recent times, you may have noticed more and more stories in the news about people who build websites asking viewers to send them money in return for nothing. It's almost as if they would be televangelists, but for their lack of faith. Then again, they're raking in the bucks hand over fist and I'm not making anything by taking a "holier than thou" attitude. So, if you'd like to send me money for no good reason whatsoever just drop me an e-mail at email@example.com and ask me where you should send your cash donations and offerings of consumer electronics. This will enable me to remain smart, become rich and avoid becoming a motivational speaker just to make ends meet.
You look like a nice young man. What’s with all the earrings?
Well, it’s just something I started doing way back in the day (yeah, I’m old enough to have a back in the day) and stopped when I decided I had run out of room.
Well, why don’t you pierce the other ear?
Because by the time I had filled my left ear, it was really trendy for guys to get both ears pierced. I’m not much for following along with the sheep.
What are you drinking?
Coffee, Diet Coke, Vodka Tonic, beer, milk, water, V8 . . . it really depends on the time of day and the occasion, no?
Is anyone using that chair?
Y’know, I think we’re getting a little off topic. Maybe it was a bad idea to work on my FAQ list in a bar . . .
Do you have questions that you would like me to answer? Send them to me at firstname.lastname@example.org with FAQ in the subject line.